Adventures in Evangelism

I've been a church planter since the mid 1980s. One of the absolute necessary spiritual gifts, skills, talents, and passions of a successful planter is relevant, culturally sensitive evangelism. If a planter doesn't do evangelism naturally, there's no way they'll be able to start an effective, faithful church. 

But let's face it, if you use the "E" word in most established churches the members either panic or their eyes glaze over. Most of the time that's because they're convinced evangelism means knocking on doors, being generally obnoxious, or alienating their friends. 

Over the years, though, I've learned a thing or two about evangelism that works in our culture. This blog (and the training tools) reflects those learnings in a practical, relevant way that is designed to relieve the angst of the average church member. The fact is, I don't care how "young" or "old" you are in your faith walk, you already have 100% of the tools you need to share your faith in ways that are natural, practical, culturally relevant, and won't embarrass you or your friends or your church. 

It's Not Your Parents' Evangelism

... It's not even your grandparents' evangelism. Effective evangelism of the once-upon-a-time essentially involved a rock-solid presentation of the Gospel that often included a one-sided conversation, a rote script, and reliance on Scripture to "prove" the truth. That worked well back then, largely because the majority of Americans had a basic understanding of the Judeo-Christian story, as well as familiarity with the person and events of Jesus Christ. Besides that, it was culturally accepted that Christianity was the "norm" and Church was generally a good thing.

Today, cultural biblical familiarity is pretty rare and both Christianity and Church are suspect by most folks. In fact, Christianity and the Church have such a sullied reputation, many faithful church-going folks are embarrassed to admit their affiliation and beliefs to their friends, let alone co-workers or acquaintances.

With all this in mind, effective evangelism that is practical, relevant, and culturally sensitive must start from a different place than it did yesterday. Believe it or not, today's effective evangelist:

• Doesn't have to be well-versed in Scripture;
• Cannot rely on a script of any kind;
• Spends little time talking ... and a lot of time listening;
• Rarely, if ever, presses for a "decision";
• Spends less time at "church" and more time with their unbelieving friends and co-workers.

In other words, the most effective evangelist today is pretty much your average, every-day church-going Christian who has unlearned what they "think" they know about evangelism and has been taught how to have effective spiritual conversationsEvangelism Training.

Step 1: Make New Friends

The most problematic thing for most church-going Christians is that they don't really "know" any non-Christians. At least, that's what they tell me. 

Here's the deal ... if you don't have non-Christian friends, how can you be effective at sharing your faith story? Or, to put it a bit more plainly, how can you be faithful to the Great Commission (that pesky verse in Matthew 28 when Jesus tells us that we're supposed to go into all the world and make disciples)?

If you and the rest of your congregation are going to be effective in faith, you'll have to get out more. Here's a quick test: when was the last time you went to lunch or dinner or for coffee or to the ball game with an unchurched friend? If you can't remember you already know there's a problem.

So, step one is to get off of all those church committees, stop going to seventy-eleven church meetings, and spend that time with the unchurched. If you really don't know any unchurched people (and I find this highly unlikely, truth be told), then:

• Go take an Adult Education Class at your local college.
• Join a club like Toastmasters or Optimists or Rotary.
• Become a Little League coach.
• Volunteer at the elementary school.

You get the drift ... and once you find someone who's both unchurched and someone you genuinely like, build a friendship. A lifelong friendship. 

Step 2: Be More Interested than Interesting

Now, I'm not suggesting that you should be a stick-in-the-mud, boring, stuffed shirt (or blouse). In fact, just the opposite. What I'm saying is that if you want to really be a friend then you'll need to adopt my grandmother's adage: You have two ears and one mouth to be used in the proportion. 

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but a story will change a life. 

Jennie Jerome was Winston Churchill's mother, an ex patriate from America. On one occasion she had the opportunity to be seated next to William Gladstone, one of Benjamin Disraeli’s bitterest rivals, at a dinner party and on the next evening to be seated next to Disraeli himself. The press had a field day, as one might expect. When they asked her impression of the two men, she replied, "When I left the dining room after sitting next to Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But when I sat next to Disraeli I left feeling that I was the cleverest woman in England."

In the words of Forrest Gump, "That's all I've got to say about that."

Step 3: Know Your Story

If someone who was unchurched asked the average church member in your congregation, "Why do you go to church?" what do you suppose the answer would be? 

Over the years, I've been asking that question to thousands of churched folks. Here are some of the most common responses:

• Because the people are so friendly;
• Because I've always gone to church;
• Because I like the sermons;
• Because I like the music.

Now, let me ask ... if an unchurched person asks why you're going to church, what do you suppose they're really asking? In other words, what's behind their question?

I suppose sometimes it's from idle curiosity. Sometimes they're not asking, they're just deriding. But often, more often than perhaps we're willing to admit, they're asking because there's a near-dead, but still there, glimmer of hope that they'll hear an answer to that emptiness within. That's the story people need to hear ... want to hear ... hope to hear. 

In today's cultural milieu, which response do you think carries the most hope:

If you answered B, you'd be correct ... in THIS cultural milieu. But the fact is, most church folks don't know how to articulate their personal faith journey. That's the reason I ended up producing the Video Training – too many people I spoke to simply had no idea how to express themselves.

Learning to articulate your faith journey is really pretty easy ... it's just a matter of thinking through it. One way of doing this is to take some time to answer what I call the Ultimate Question:

If you struggle with articulating your own experience with Jesus Christ there are other ways to put your story together (see the Hitchhikers' book or the training for more ideas), but whatever it takes, it's imperative that you be ready with an answer when someone asks. As Peter wrote: Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.

Step 4: Bearing the Maker's Mark

If you're an Antique Road Show fan, you may actually know the answer to the question: When presented with an antique and potentially valuable vase (pronounced v-ah-z ... no one ever pronounces it v-ace on that show), what does the "expert" look for on the vase's bottom?

The answer is the Maker's Mark, that is, the imprint of the artisan on the pottery (or glass or whatever). 

So, here's a question for those who claim to be "Christian." When an unchurched person picks you up and looks at ... the souls of your feet, what should they see? At least metaphorically.

The word Christian literally means "Little Christ." In other words, every Christian is expected to not only bear the Maker's Mark, but we're expected to look like the genuine article. And though this is a pretty tall order, the fact is all your churched and unchurched friends, relatives, acquaintances, neighbors, co-workers, and everyone else is watching and taking note of your behavior. 

Now, no one expects you to be perfect ... really, even the most hardened atheist let's you off that pedestal. But they all DO expect you to reflect what you say you believe and to be responsible for both your words and deeds. So, when you mess up ... and you will ... they're looking to see if you'll own it, deal with it, and make it right (or as close to "right" as you can). 

So, if you're going to claim the name, then walk the walk. And if you need help (as do we all), then get someone to help you. Get an accountability partner. Go see a spiritual director. Find a therapist. But do whatever it takes to polish that Maker's Mark so your behavior matches your name.

Step 5: Make the Most of Spiritual Conversations

So far, so good. If you've followed the steps, by now you have some new friends who are less-than-churched. In fact, they're probably not even believers.

And you're practicing being interested rather than being interesting (you're listening well).

You know your faith story ... and you can articulate it so that if your friends ask, "So why do you go to church?" you have an answer that doesn't include great potluck dinners and a fabulous choir. Instead, your response is something about how Jesus Christ has broken through into your real life and the difference that's made.

Of course, you're also behaving more and more like the Maker and you bear his mark with a sense of responsibility, not just pride.

So, let me share a few secrets of how to make the most of your conversations. 

First, most of the most-important conversations you have with unbelieving folks will not be laden with God-language or even anything about church or faith or anything that smacks of religiosity. The most important conversations will be the ones where transparency emerges through the fog of self-consciousness. These are the conversations where you and your friend/s open up life's hurts, fears, worries, stressers, doubts, emptinesses, and loneliness as well as great joys. Conversations like these don't happen early on in a budding relationship. In fact, you might not reach this level for months or even years.

Friendship, like evangelism, isn't a microwave process. In fact, it's commonly asserted that effective evangelism today takes as much as three years to cultivate, plant, and nurture into faith. 

But I digress. What does an effective spiritual conversation look like? Here's a quick list. Effective Spiritual Conversations

• are rarely started by you;
• are triggered by questions that haven't been answered, a hurt that hasn't been healed, or a spiritual itch that won't go away;
• are marked by authenticity and transparency;
• reflect personal experiences;
• rarely include pat answers or certainty;
• often end in the silence of reflection rather than in the perfunctory "Eureka! I get it!"

All that's to say that if you're dying to get to the place in your relationship where you can outline the doctrine of the atonement, you're going to be disappointed most of the time. The best spiritual conversations deal with the questions your friend has, not on the questions you want to answer. Remember, two ears and one mouth. 

Step 6: Help Your Friends Belong

Christianity isn't a solo journey. It's not for the fiercely independent. Whether you like it or not, there is no Christianity without the Church.

Please take note with what I said, not what you think I meant. There is no Christianity without the Church ... I didn't say there is no Christianity without going to church. 

The Church isn't a building and it isn't a worship service. The Church is a particular people with a shared faith in (and a relationship with) Jesus Christ. 

It's been said that once upon a time, "everyone" went to church in America, and those who didn't knew they should. That was a long time ago, though. Today, the Church has a reputation in our culture ... and it's not a good reputation. So, please understand that this post isn't necessarily about dragging your unchurched friends to your worship services. At least not at first, and frankly never if the worship services in your church would be perceived as irrelevant or boring or judgmental by an unchurched guest. 

Today's effective evangelism practices take seriously the cultural reality. Those who come to a place where they believe and are ready for, say, baptism need to "belong" first. There is truth in the adage people belong before they believe. But belong to what? 

Belongingness is a key to faith-sharing today and the only way your unchurched friends are going to get connected with the capital C Church is most likely by association with you ...

How can you facilitate that belongingness? Easy. 

• Host a party with both your churched and unchurched friends.
• Have lunch with your best churched friend and your unchurched friend or friends.
• Invite your unchurched friend to your small group.

Ultimately, helping someone to belong is the intentional act of introducing them and sponsoring them into your personal circle of influence. Really, it's as easy as that ...

... with this caveat. If your churched friends haven't made this six step journey with you, be very careful about introducing your unchurched friend into the clique. Keep in mind that the unchurched have very sensitive spiritual antennae. They pick up on phony, hypocritical, judgmental, shallow attitudes and behavior exceptionally quick. 

What To Expect

To wrap all this up, here is one of the more common paths that an unchurched person moves into full belief. 

1. They become friends with a Christian.
2. They have lots of conversations with their friend ... few of which have anything to do with spiritual issues ... but all of which build the relationship.
3. They spend time together ... typically lots of time.
4. The have lots more conversations. 
5. After much time together, they broach the subject of spirituality in some way and they're genuinely listened to.
6. They meet some of their Christian friend's friends and may hang out some with them (sometimes even joining them on some do-gooding project or mission).
7. They share more about what they believe and how faith, religion, church, etc. has intersected with their life. The Christian friend mostly listens.
8. They ask their Christian friend about how faith works in their life (typically via a rather obscure question).
9. They begin to practice some Christian habits in their life (their Christian friends actually rub off on them). 
10. They may (or may not) visit or attend worship services with their friend/s.
11. Somewhere, somehow they find out about baptism and ask about it. Someone explains that it's an act of commitment to belief in Jesus Christ (and perhaps more, depending on the particular tribe their Christian friend is a part of ... but it doesn't get too theologically deep). And a light goes on inside (perhaps the Eureka! moment) and they realize they already believe and are ready to take that step.

From #1 to #11 takes an average of three years in our culture, so don't get in a hurry.

Of course, all this is more deeply explained and trained in both the book and the training DVD set. But those are the basics. Get these six steps down and you'll become an effect, relevant, and culturally sensitive evangelist (that's scary, isn't it?!).